ninja!!

i don’t really know why i get depressed at weddings. (i know i’m smiling in that picture, demmet!!but i ain’t posting ugly, depressed pictures of me!!)..whenever i look at a couple i would generally try to come up with a reason why they got married, or even thought of it in the first place..hey, don’t get me wrong, i’m happy for those who did, ok? i salute every couple i know who got hitched this year, and i wish them well.. its just that..why get married at all?  i mean, i can’t even begin to imagine spending a whole week with just one person, let alone my whole life!! commitment issues. yes, i know. i have those. but who doesn’t?? i even bawled my eyes out when i saw my sister walking down the aisle towards gords. wanted to stop them, but i know my sister..she’d kick me so hard if i did!!am happy for you guys, i really am!!!honest!!

there’s really no guarantees in life. what makes one so sure that the other person is really the right person? what if the right person comes along when one is already committed to somebody else?or worse, what if one wakes up one day and realizes that there just isn’t a spark anymore??jeez..or..what if the other person now bores you to death??gaahh!!

and to think that my sentiments are not really affected by my relationship right now. its just has always been in me. i’m in a very exciting, happy relationship, and i would absolutely hate for it to end. but then, when i think of getting married, it gives me the creeps. talk about contradictions!! hhmm..and when i see couples getting married, the song that plays in my mind is queen’s another one bites the dust..hehe, weird!! i should have been a guy to begin with!!this mind set is more apt for a male than for a female..some of you may call me biased, i know. and i am!so what??get over it already!!

try as i might, i can never accept love as a reason for getting married. its just so corny and stupid to think of it that way. marriage is a cold hearted trade off for me. you want your kids to have those genes, and your partner wants your genes for his kids too. stupid? i guess so. too shallow? ok, i’ll accept that. ok, let’s move on..hehehe..

maybe its the company. the only way i’d ever get married is if i prove for myself that the guy will not turn out to be boring in the next few years or so. if he proves that i would be in for a treat. too shallow??again?? ok, i know!!

but when i look at deejay, and he smiles at me..everything changes. reason enough to get married? i don’t know yet..we’ll see. but i’d like to think so..

congratulations to all those who got married, especially my sister and gords!! these couples got over being scared and being unsure of everything and actually got hitched!!good for you guys!!kudos kudos!!